Why do some women wait until they are at a risky age to conceive?
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Considering that it is proven that after 35 it is much riskier to concieve, many more things can go wrong. Why do some women intentionally wait until they are 35 or older to conceive then?
I don’t mean if they got married at 35 and had no other choice, but say they got married at 30, but waited 5 years — isn’t that selfish seeing as they are going to have a higher chance of thigns going wrong, and such a bigger age gap between their children and them?
Wow–How anyone can think that at ANY time you bring a child into the world out of love and caring that it is SELFISH I do not understand. I am 36 and am pregnant with my first child, and no, I don’t feel that I am selfish at all. There is no set time in life that you are "supposed" to have children, no set "age gap" that you should have. As a matter of fact, the statistics show that one of every five women conceive their first child after 35 and most of them are perfectly healthy pregnancies and babies!! What I personally think is selfish is that people are harsh and judgemental about situations that that obviously know nothing about. I was married at 31, and we WANTED to wait to have children, for many reasons that are really none of your business. Make your own choices, and let others make theirs.
*shrug* People can change their mind. They can think to wait till they are more emotionally or financially stable. Maybe they wanted to work on their marriage because there is so much divorce now these days. I think it all depends on the woman.
How is that selfish? There are many circumstances that may cause them to have to wait. Finances, fertility, jobs, etc. My mom was close to that age when she had me and that was because she had a miscarriage and waited some time. She had my brother at 34/35 and he was extremely healthy. So do not judge those that wait, you do not know their situation.
maybe they didn’t want kids but after they turned 35 they suddenly want them
well it depends some wait until they are financially stable and can support a child so it can have what it wants in life. most women are older when they fit into that category. x x its just as selfish to have a baby with no money to support it, but in saying that i dont think it matters what age aslong as u love it and cherish it no matter what the outcomex x
its not selfish at all they may want to work to make sure they are finical securer and 35 is not to old to star a family i think that if they are waiting so that they have a house and and the finance to be able to give that child / children security then they are selfless not selfish
The reasons, I’m sure, run a gamut – e.g., wanting to acquire more of a financial stability; wanting to make sure the marriage stood a good chance of succeeding on its own. And some of them might seem selfish, on a superficial examination, but your assessment seems overly harsh.
There is no rule that their has to be a set age gap between kids. Why would anyone want to have kids a year or two apart. I don’t see that reason at all.
Maybe people just wanted to finish their own life before they brought another one into this world so they could provide their full attention to their kids.
My mom had my lil’ brother when she was 38 and nothing went wrong in her pregnancy.
I would rather first have a kid in my 30′s than have my first at 15 years old.
Personally, if I did not have children before 28, I never would have had a choice MY LOSS!!!
HELLO?????
Isnt that a bit like saying why do some people learn to drive at 15 and others at 29??
Some people like to enjoy there lives together,before having children,be finacially stable,have a house etc!!!!
Have you not read that women are having children later in life these days.I’m 34,have been with my husband 7 years,and now seems a good time to TTC.I would much rather have waited til now than dropping my knickers to any one that walked past me when I was 16.
I think women are selfish when they have kids too early just because they want one…think it would be adult like. Waiting until you are older and more set in your life and can give more to a child than could a young immature "adult". Younger adults think it is OK to go out a night or two to party while an older adult knows the importance of being at hope and providing a safe environment.
I’m 39 and having my first child. I wasn’t married until I was 38, and I know you said this doesn’t count for people who were married after 35, but I’m going to put my 2 cents in.
What if these people were married at 30, had minimum wage jobs, going to school, and trying to better themselves? Wouldn’t it be selfish bringing a baby into the world that you have trouble supporting?
I disagree that it is selfish to have a baby after 35. I personally don’t feel much different (age-wise) than I did at 30! What makes something selfish is if you find out that you are having a baby with some sort of "problem" and decide not to have the baby. I personally chose not to have any of the testing done because it doesn’t matter to me if something is wrong (i.e. downs syndrome).
Plus remember, some people try to have a baby for years on end with no luck…why shouldn’t they keep trying until they can. I think that you are being a bit harsh!
I do not think this is selfish. I think sometime some women dont have a choice…some women are having problems conceiving, other women may have gotten divorced and remarried at a later age. You definitely cannot judge unless you have lived in their shoes or can empathize with these women’s situation. Btw, I have aunts who have had their kids at 38-40 and their kids are healthy as can be.
You shouldn’t judge until you walk a mile in someone elses shoes – you don’t know other peoples circumstances. Has it occurred to you that some people have trouble conceiving and are too ashamed to admit it, or just don’t feel a strong need to have a baby until later. There are a whole range of reasons for peoples choices.
because they want to live a bit first and have a more stable life for a child but saying that if a women really wants a child she should but the childs health first, women in their late 30′s and forties get seen for fertility treatment in the uk before younger couples, but i think thats unfair because me for example have pcos and thats why i cant concieve i did not do that to myself, while {not in all cases} a women whos waited till its to late had a choice and she may of been able to concieve if she didnt wait.